Why There’s No Such Thing as a Loser
The description doesn’t do anyone justice
Doubtless, you’ve heard, or even used, the term loser. It’s a way to describe someone you believe has reached the bottom of the scrap heap. They’ve become selfish or ignorant and bring others down as they wallow. But what if there’s no such thing as a loser, and the description doesn’t do anyone justice?
Whenever I note people use the phrase loser, I’m uneasy. It doesn’t sit right because no one is ever an absolute winner or loser. Besides, everybody fits the bill occasionally. Who hasn’t been down on their luck or thought their experience of life, in that moment, was a drudge?
Typically, so-called losers display the opposite characteristics of supposed winners. They lack vitality, money, love, success, fulfillment, friends… You name it. They’ve lost it.
Yet, if you think about it, it’s impossible to lose at life unless you’re in the game. First, you must place your players on life’s board and try to make things work. You reach for those qualities winners possess and don’t get there.
But failure isn’t permanent. We all fall and rise in terms of success throughout life. Our happiness and accomplishments rise and dip, and they depend not just on our actions but also on luck and the environment.
Of course, losers, if we are to label people who are unhappy and haven’t gained success, can make mistakes that predict their lack of joy and satisfaction. There’s no difference between their actions, though, and those of someone who gets back up when they sink and goes on to lead a happy and productive life, other than doing exactly that; getting up after a fall.
And why might someone remain in a heap when they take a tumble? Depression. A sense of helplessness, Fear. Self-doubt. These and other reasons cause individuals to falter.
Sometimes, we may label people as losers because they are curmudgeons. They zap the joy from the room if you let them. Nonetheless, their anxiety and negativity stem from unhappiness and are symptoms of distress. It’s not fun being around pessimists who grumble and self-preserve at the expense of others, but recognizing why they behave that way helps.
It’s also true, you need not take a curmudgeon’s negativity on board. It’s useful to learn to create and maintain a preferable mindset rather than join anyone in their misery, and more supportive, too.
Joy’s catchy, and you’re more likely to boost positivity if you stay calm rather than get upset with an unhappy person. Writing them off as a loser promotes despair and nihilism. You are miserable because you view the individual as worthless, and they feel awful because you highlight what they already think about themselves.
What’s more, you may inadvertently consider yourself superior, and one way to check whether your thinking is off-kilter is to note whether you imagine you’re better than someone else.
I’ve met self-proclaimed losers. They are so used to hearing the phrase they latch onto it, and it deepens their poor self-image. It can prevent them from getting up and improving life. If there’s a name for your condition, you may accept it as your lot in life. Like an illness, it’s something you must grin and bear, especially when you think there’s no cure.
Some folks label themselves as former losers. At least, when they do so, others might see there’s a way out of their situation. They could transform.
Still, hearing someone say they used to be a loser and stopped being so awful when you imagine you are one now could prompt the opposite reaction. Their success may only emphasize your lack. Lack of relationships, career success, money, and all those other terrific things winners have in their lives.
I reject the term loser because it’s unhelpful. It predisposes unhappy people to more unhappiness and covers the truth, which is supposed losers could need help or simply be in a transitional stage before they get back on their feet.
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Bridget Webber is a writer and nature lover, often found in the woodland, meadow, and other wild places. She writes poetry and stories and pens psychology articles; her love of discovering what rests inside the thicket and the brain compels her to delve deep. She’s appeared in many leading publications and is the author of Nature Poems to Heal the Heart and Nurture the Soul.
