Various ‘Holding Stuff’ Models Long for Medium Fame Like Celebrity Sparkler Model

But the big-time’s not for everyone

Since sparkler model Faith (not her real name) gained fame, but probably not much fortune, after becoming one of Medium’s most successful holding stuff models used above articles, many other holding stuff models have spoken out.

Here’s what they say:

Avocado holding model Pauline (real name withheld too) was secretly upset when she saw Faith rise to fame.

“The way she held that sparkler was kind of ordinary. I don’t think she deserved to be above those Medium articles and stories online.”

Upon reflection, though, Pauline chose to adopt a more positive outlook about the situation.

“I guess if the sparkler model can make it big-time, anyone can. There’s hope for all holding things models around the world.”

I asked Pauline why she thinks she isn’t famous yet.

“I think it’s because of the cleavage problem in my photo. We tried to blur it, but the result’s just too obvious. It’s made my image unsuitable for Medium viewers before the watershed.”

Pine leaf holding model Carla has high hopes.

“Lots of Medium writers are looking for pine related photographs this time of year. So, there’s a good chance I’ll get noticed.”

I asked her what she’s done to prepare, just in case her dreams are realized.

“I’ve washed my nails. There was a little dirt under them. That’s what happens when you’re in the woods collecting pine needles all the time. I’m good to go if anyone wants me to pose for them.”

Succulents holder model Dido doesn’t mind people knowing her real name. “The more people know who I am, the better. You can’t expect to have privacy and fame simultaneously. You’ve got to stand out and be counted.”

I wondered how many times Dido had appeared on Medium, and her answer surprised me.

“Six or seven times now. I’m a rising star. You wouldn’t think many writers wanted to create stories about succulents, but they’re really quite popular.”

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“Let’s face it,” hot chocolate holding model told me, “I’ve got it made. I’m an adorable kid, and people love adorable kids. They know placing me beneath titles on front pages attracts eyeballs. I’ll earn far more than most holding stuff models. Partly because I’m so adorable, but also because I’ve started my career young. I’m already experienced at holding a variety of stuff. Only last week, I held a fir cone.”

Jim, (that’s what we’ll call this ice-cream cone holding model: He doesn’t want his boss to know he’s a cone-holder as his side-hustle) thinks he’s found his true calling.

“I simply love being a holding stuff model. My real job, the one that pays, is in IT, and it’s not as much fun. I like the photograph of me holding this cone. It’s ironic. You see, it’s winter, and ice-cream’s cold! Most people won’t have thought of holding a cone in winter, but I did! So, I’ve very little competition. If a Medium writer needs a cone-holding photo off-season, he or she can use my picture. Sorted!”

Most holding stuff models are unlikely to hit the big time like sparkler model Faith. I asked her for her thoughts on the matter.

“It’s a tough life being a holding stuff model. You don’t get paid much. The job itself is rewarding though. You get to hold all manner of things you might not have bothered to pick up otherwise.”

So there we have it. Not everyone can make it big, but being a holding stuff model has its perks.

Nature Lover, Former Mental Health Professional, Writer

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