Psychology

There’s a Good Reason Certain People Irritate You

The disturbing truth may come as a surprise

Photo by 傅甬 华 on Unsplash

Does the way your best friend arrives late to meet you drive you nuts? Do you get upset when your sibling grabs the limelight? Maybe you feel outraged when your neighbor thoughtlessly lets their dog pee on your flowerbed.

These people and their behaviors are frustrating to come across. Your blood boils as you sigh and phone pals to talk about them.

Why don’t they behave better?

I’m with you on this. We all feel the same. Some folks irritate us to the bone and should know better.

But hang on for a moment. Are we missing the big picture?

I nodded wisely when I first read this quote from Hermann Hesse.

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part yourself. What isn’t part ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”

I knew he was right, though his words didn’t apply personally. Other people projected their hidden, bad behaviors and emotions onto folks. But not me. After all, I was well-versed in psychology and mental health. These emotional trip-hazards weren’t part of my life.