Member-only story
Personal development
The Actual Reason Unavailable People Are Attractive to You
You seem hooked, but you only reach for detrimental relationships because you’re hurt
It appears everyone you meet is unsuitable partner material: They are unavailable. They already partnered up or just don’t want a serious relationship. You, though, tell yourself — and all your friends — what you want most in life is to settle down with ‘the one.’
The one, however, is married, lives on the opposite side of the globe, or isn’t interested in you. And it’s not fair. How come other people get together and enjoy long-term coupling, yet, the only people you date want a one-night stand or to meet you once a week in a hotel room?
Why is your chosen partner terminally ill, in prison, or undergoing other regrettable circumstances that mean they can’t commit to you? Or you met them on vacation and can’t afford to travel back and forth to visit? Or do they want to be with you but can’t leave their needy former lingering partner?
Might the circumstances you see as problematic serve you? Could it be you subconsciously choose, repeatedly, to date unavailable people?
