Oh bless you Sandra. I know how it hurts, and also how spiritual knowing and practices help. My lovely collie died four months ago, and the memory is still very clear of going through a similar scenario. Funny thing, though, three days after he died, he came to me in a dream with another dog and a cat. In the morning I thought, well that's weird. I don't recall these particular animal pals in our neighborhood. Just a month ago, we rehomed a dog that looks suspiciously like the one in the dream. Maybe a cat will follow at some point. I just tell you this as it seemed like proof of his existence after death.