Consider These 10 Breakthrough Questions and Power-Up Your Life

Your answers will show you how to be happier, wiser, and more fulfilled

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

Your days will seep down an endless plughole if you’re not careful. You’ll get out of bed, perform a familiar routine, have the same old thoughts, and then go back to sleep. If you follow the same habits, and preserve the mindset that got you where you are today, there’s no hope for a better life. Do these sentiments strike a chord? Then it’s time to power-up your life and ask 10 breakthrough questions.

What quality do I want to embody most?

To transform into an ideal version of you, take action. Identify a major quality you want to embody. To uncover it, look at the people you most admire. What’s terrific about them? Do they share a personality trait you respect?

We all have heroes, people we hold in high esteem. They clasp the key to our aspirations, showing us who we hope to be one day. We look up to our heroes and consider ourselves less knowledgeable.

It’s possible to raise your sense of self-worth, and improve your self-image and wisdom, by embracing the primary quality you find appealing in the people you admire.

Nurture the quality you love and respect to increase your fulfillment and self-esteem. So, if you love Colonel Sanders (the Kentucky Fried Chicken founder) for his tenacity, or the Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh’s compassion, aim to share their fine qualities.

Remember your intent to foster the chosen quality each morning when you wake, throughout the day, and when you retire for the night. Recalling your intention will keep you on track.

What makes me happy?

Find out what makes you happy. When you know for sure how to increase your joy, you are empowered and can take greater control of how you experience life. Rather than focus on material joy-bringers, consider actions or ways of being that ignite happiness.

Meditation, concentration on gratitude, or writing in a journal, for instance, is more supportive compared to shopping, consuming your favorite tipple, or traveling the globe. Not because these activities aren’t wonderful. Do them if they appeal.

But consider things that give you joy that don’t rely on circumstances you can’t control. You can’t always do those other things. You can always take charge of your joy and wellbeing via mindful practices.

Which habits reduce my long-term wellbeing?

Short-term happiness-boosters are fun, so don’t rule them out. Nonetheless, recognize which reduce your long-term wellbeing. Eat an iced-bun every day, for example, and your waistline will suffer. Then your wellbeing will weaken too when weight-gain dents your health or self-esteem.

Other happiness-draining habits are less obvious. If you’re defensive when someone tries to help you, or watch bad news on the TV too often, you might not notice its negative influence.

Be aware of little actions and repetitive thoughts that leave you unhappy. Aim to reduce them. Also note what you do often that gives you a short-term buzz, but lessens your wellbeing in the long run, and alter your behavior.

What do I need to happen for my life to improve?

Are you stuck in a rut? Or less satisfied with life than you would like? You can’t change some aspects of your lifestyle or circumstances, but there are a few you have power over.

If your job leaves you unfulfilled, yet you can’t afford to move on, can you find satisfaction in other ways? You might learn something new. Take an evening class or study online to improve your lot.

Likewise, you could benefit from thinking about what you want your future to hold. Consider steps toward the existence you desire and make it happen.

What do I argue about the most and how can I stop?

I was once a relationship counselor and can tell you the root of most arguments has nothing to do with what seems to be the problem. It’s not who cleans the house or earns the most money that matters. The truth is about lack of a more intrinsic quality, fear of loss, or something else more important.

People carry out the same arguments over and over, without getting to the root of the problem. They are on a roundabout, and it doesn’t stop until they address real, deep-seated issues.

No doubt, some of your repetitive arguments are with the same individuals. Unless you want monotonous squabbles for the rest of your life, look at what happens. Uncover the unmet needs in your relationships that create quarrels. Then you can get off the ride and deal with what really ails you.

Who Haven’t I forgiven?

The more I forgive my shortcomings, the easier it is to forgive others. Perhaps it’s the same for you. For this reason, be aware of all those times you berate yourself for not being up-to-scratch. Hear your inner dialog. It involves reprimands for not being perfect. Forgive yourself when you forget to do a chore or spill your morning coffee.

Now move on to your relationships and identify who you haven’t forgiven. While you hold anxiety and anger about ‘what they did to you,’ you are a prisoner. Your grudge holds you hostage and eats away at you. Let go of resentment, recognizing we are all learning.

If someone hurt you, they haven’t got the hang of their lesson yet. But you need not dwell on events. Instead, think about how to overcome challenges and drop the chains.

What do I love doing the most?

No doubt, you’ve heard the advice ‘do what you love.’ But what if you haven’t identified your passion? Your passion isn’t just something you enjoy. It’s an activity you crave, or did at some point in your life.

People disengage from their passion when circumstances make carrying it out difficult. Or they may busy themselves with other things and forget about what once bought them joy and satisfaction.

Recognize that element of life or action that creates great inner contentment. It might be helping people, teaching, or creativity, for instance. Make it part of your regular life.

Where do I gain my energy?

I get my personal energy from several areas of life, among them nature and helping others. Where do you get yours? You’re unique, so I can’t hazard a guess on your behalf with great accuracy, but let’s start by recognizing whether you’re more of an introvert or extrovert.

Extroverts get their energy, partially, from being with people. Introverts create their own energy when they are alone or during one-to-one encounters. Too much time with large groups of people zaps their zing.

Discover which activities put a spring in your step and those that drain you. You’ll understand how to lead a more balanced lifestyle.

How do I spend most of my time?

People often worry they haven’t sufficient time to do what they want or need to do. But they don’t see how they waste time. Do you check your bank balance, emails, or social media umpteen times a day? Now you know where extra hours hide.

Look at what steals your time and make amends. Then you’ll have longer to engage in your passion, build relationships, and enjoy life.

What do I need to let go of?

I’ve mentioned a few potential obstructions to joy and growth like grudges and repetitive quarrels. You’ll benefit from ejecting other hindrances though, too.

If you go over a painful past, you keep it alive in the present. At first, it’s helpful to examine difficulties, but eventually it’s healthier to let them go. When you go over hurtful memories, the familiar raw neural network of anxiety is set to re-create itself, and you re-experience pain. So, release yourself from the grip of the past and focus on what you want to happen now.

Similarly, let go of other things that don’t add to personal growth, or detract from it. Examine what does and doesn’t work for you. Be willing to step into healthier, unfamiliar territory and your life will improve.

Use these 10 breakthrough questions to change life for the better. Only you have the power to stop behaving in ways that damage you or hold back your success and happiness. You’re the only one who can begin actions that increase your joy. This means you can’t wait for anyone else to manage your personal challenges. What’s more, realize they exist to help you grow. They throw down the gauntlet and it’s to your advantage to pick it up and run with it.

Copyright © 2021 Bridget Webber. All rights reserved

Bridget Webber is the author of Nature Poems To Warm The Heart And Nurture The Soul and The Warm Hum of Bees: A poem book about life, love, and living.

Unlisted

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
✨ Bridget Webber

✨ Bridget Webber

5.4K Followers

Writer, former counselor, author, and avid tea drinker learning how to live well.