And Love Yourself Instead
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
Twain’s observation makes sense. If you don’t approve of yourself, no one else’s opinion of you will make a jot of difference to your self-regard. Similarly, if you don’t have self-compassion and love yourself unconditionally, no one else’s love for you will fill the void and give you what you need to feel whole.
I recall in the days when I was a full-time counselor lack of self-love was the main problem most of my clients faced. Only, they didn’t know not caring for themselves…
The Buddhist parable about the second arrow explains the cause of much unnecessary suffering.
The story goes that if an arrow strikes you as you wander in your garden, naturally, it hurts. But this initial injury might not signal the end of your distress. Even if the person who attacked you flees without casting another blow, you might still experience yet another bout of pain which Buddhists call the second arrow.
The second arrow, unlike the first, is controllable. It is anguish caused by your thoughts after a hurtful blow takes place. …
It’s fashionable to applaud the virtues of being a morning person. When you rise early (like the birds), you can capitalize on the day. But is it of value to get out of bed at dawn (to catch the most worms)? Morning folks enjoy several benefits, but they face drawbacks, too.
As a morning person, I’m chipper when the day begins. I bounce out of bed and fling back the curtains. Then I open the garden door and dance and sing. My night owl husband groans and crawls under the covers, aghast at the upbeat commotion as my dog leaps…
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” Groucho Marx.
Groucho Marx had a point. All you have is this day. You don’t know if you’ll have tomorrow or what the future will bring. But you have a choice about whether you look for happiness in every moment rather than wait.
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.” G M
Can you recall a time when someone gave you their complete attention? They really listened when you spoke. And they noticed your body language and used emotional intelligence. They understood you better than most other people. The result was you felt cherished. It was as though you were a parched plant that finally got watered.
You spread your leaves and bathed in the sun’s warmth. Or, in this case, you bathed in the warmth of being recognized. When we are acknowledged with intention this way, we can’t help but grow. …
We need to care about the biggest things in life. It’s wise to care about the planet, other people, and other important matters, for instance. But sometimes you might care too much about the little things that, without added attention, need not have much impact on your life or turn into problems.
Many people find themselves in an emotional state of over care at present. Not necessarily about massive issues. They are wound up and over stressed about the little aspects of life that soon dissipate when left alone.
When you give an event, either from the past or an…
We never know the future. Events even take fortunetellers by surprise, and right now, we’re experiencing a shared uncertainty about what’s coming. As the post-pandemic world emerges, inch by inch, we’re left to ponder various questions. Many of which evoke fear.
When can we get back to normal?
Does normal even exist anymore?
What will the new world be like?
Will we ever enjoy the intimacy and spontaneity we had before COVID-19 took over?
And there are plenty of other uncertainties, too. It’s no wonder the majority of people are shaky about the next steps they will take. They don’t…
It would have been an average day. I would have carried out necessary chores, worked, and settled down for the evening with that same old feeling. A feeling I had done everything my usual way and achieved similar results. That day, though, something out of the ordinary happened. A new thought occurred before I climbed from beneath the bed covers.
It was such a small tweak to my day. Yet, it had a huge impact. Not just to the day in question. But to every single day since
As I lay there, I contemplated what I had to do during…