10 Things Not to Do After a Relationship Split

They will only make things worse

So, you’ve just gone through a bad breakup with someone you once cared for and feel grim. What’s the first thing you want to do? Maybe it’s a behavior mentioned here. A word of caution, though, it won’t help.

Eat all the pies

Naturally, food treats are high on your to do list. Your stomach and brain know eating them will give you a buzz, if only for a few minutes, and relieve pressure. Soon after your junk food fest, though, guilt will kick in, making you even bluer.

Poor quality foods will sap your energy and leave you miserable, not to mention overweight.

Aim to eat feel-good healthy treats instead. Fruit, nuts, peanut butter, chickpea flour pancakes filled with wild berries; these foods will boost your mood and vitality rather than reduce your strength.

Change your hairstyle

There’s nothing wrong with getting a new haircut; it might even give you more self-confidence. However, leave altering your tresses awhile until you’ve found your feet.

Right now, you might imagine you are faulty, especially if your ex told you as much.

But there’s nothing wrong with you. In a few weeks, you’ll be in a better emotional state to assess whether you will benefit from shaving your head or paying a fortune for hair extensions.

Shred photos of your ex

Perhaps your ex mistreated you and you’re angry. If so, you may have the urge to cut up his/her shirts left in the wardrobe and shred photographs of your last holiday together. Hang on a moment, however, because later you may enjoy a few mementos.

You’re upset. In the future, though, it’s possible you’ll look back at those times you enjoyed as a couple and smile.

They are part of your history. Save a place for them in your scrapbook, and if your feelings don’t change, you can always get rid of them in a month or two.

Spend too long in a comfy chair

Does the cosy chair by your TV beckon? Watching multitudes of repeated shows and bad Netflix movies will ruin your morale. Also, sitting too long will give you aches and pains while encouraging you to consume tired leftover pizza and fries.

If you must vegetate, make sure you do so only for a few days and watch films that inspire motivation rather than add to your woes.

Have comfort flings

A friend might insist you will feel better if you indulge in a few meaningless flings. The truth, though, is you are likely to end up crying on a stranger’s shoulder if you enter a romantic relationship before you’re ready.

Spend time with people you love and respect; those who build you up and support you until you mend, rather than trying to forge new relationships.

Vent so much everyone knows your woes off by heart

A certain amount of venting is useful. It helps you let off steam and enjoy the sympathy of kind friends. Go on and on, retelling the same old stories about your dreadful ex, however, and doing so will turn into an annoying, painful habit.

Let rip soon after you split with your ex, but cool it once the floodgates have been open awhile.

Focus on healing by fostering positivity and improve your well-being.

Change your style

Do you imagine your ex wanted you to be different? Perhaps it’s true, but this doesn’t mean you need to change. It’s best to find someone who suits you, at some point, instead of trying to suit anyone else. Besides, you’re not with him/her anymore, so why change your style?

It’s true a makeover can increase self-esteem, but, just like it’s sensible not to alter your hairstyle yet, it’s wise not to throw your clothes out of the closet and begin again right now.

Live with yourself as you are and enjoy being you. If anything, it’s therapeutic to be even more you than usual.

Wear clothes you love, ramp-up your usual style, and do what you love most to improve your mood.

Text your ex

Don’t be trigger-happy and text your ex. Doing so will keep the dregs going until everything tastes bitter.

If you didn’t enjoy the relationship, let go and focus on building a life you love.

Then again, if you still care, there’s time. Let the storm pass. Whatever made the relationship end still burns. Let the flames die down so you can see the way ahead before you act.

Drink yourself stupid

Many people use alcohol to self-medicate because it dulls pain for a short time. Maybe you will drown your sorrows once or twice. After that, though, don’t refuel with toxic beverages; not if you don’t know when to stop.

Treat yourself to a non-alcoholic drink you find special, or an alcoholic one you will sip instead of getting drunk on every night.

Feed hateful thoughts

It’s natural to entertain negative thoughts about your relationship at the moment. Nonetheless, the more you go over why you hate your ex or what you think went wrong the more negative you’ll feel.

Repetitive thoughts create neural pathways in the brain you won’t want to revisit forever, so knock them on the head before they get too deep.

Refocus your attention on something positive and leave assessing your past until you are out of the mire and can learn from it.

As the song goes ‘Breaking up is hard to do,’ but you need not fuel anxiety and build stressful thoughts and behaviors. Take care of yourself with extra TLC. Look after your needs and your mental well-being will expand as you heal.

Nature Lover, Former Mental Health Professional, Writer https://tinyurl.com/y2cgqhgv

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